ENEA

Panicked customers forced to TALK to people during data outage

Terrifying! During a data outage in the UK, customers were forced to... talk to people on their phones! Some even engaged in face-to-face conversation. Shock-horror!

(Editor’s note: "talking" is believed to be an ancient practice from the last century - before data plans)

Sky.com

No Time To Die – at least not holding an iPhone

Apple banned Bond villains from using iPhones. Apparently, sinister criminals pinching and zooming is not the look Apple wants. Bond himself resorted to a Nokia 5G but the film was so delayed the phone had to be re-imaged. Meanwhile, there’s no word from Apple on their anticipated exploding pen - or who’s allowed to use it.

Wired

Will the real 5G tower please step forward!

It was hard enough hiding those 4G towers, but, due to higher frequencies, 5G towers will be far more numerous. A new breed of “concealment companies” are cloaking them in palm trees, cacti, and recycling bins!

Who knows, there could be a 5G tower outside your door, right now...

CNN

Tesla is building a robot that you can push over

Elon Musk announced the Tesla household robot for 2022. To counter fears of an imminent robot apocalypse, he said it will be small enough to push over, and “it probably won’t work”. (Phew! Now we only have to worry about the big robots that do work).

CNBC

What's the Meta with Facebook?

Meanwhile, Mark Zuckerberg (who is probably not a robot) introduced us to the metaverse in his trademark warm manner that saw him become a beloved figure worldwide in 2021 (excuse the sarcasm). Yes, Facebook is now Meta, following what was, no doubt, a very short brainstorm.

Sources Worldwide

Google was acquired in 2021... for $3

One eagle-eyed consumer noticed that Google’s Argentinian domain google.com.ar had lapsed and snapped it up for $3. Google didn’t’t say how much they spent to get it back, but we understand that one Argentinian teenager will have a VERY Merry Christmas this year!

The Guardian

2021 Olympic athletes urged to stop biting mobile phones

You know that iconic moment when sweaty athletes bite their Olympic medals in front of the world’s media? … They’re chewing on mobile phones. Yes, Olympic gold medals in Tokyo were covered in a plastic wrapper made from recycled mobiles. The IoC advised athletes against such recklessness!

The Independent

Meanwhile, one man misplaces his phone... in his stomach

It’s a story as old as time – you put your phone down and you just can’t find it. This year, one man didn’t find it down the side of the sofa – it was retrieved after spending 6 months in his stomach! Hopefully he planned ahead and put it on silent.

The Week

Rising & falling brands - who’s been naughty or nice in 2021?

Apple have maintained their position as the world’s most valuable brand of 2021. In fact, all top 5 slots are now occupied by tech companies including Amazon, Microsoft and Google, and Tesla went up a gear with its brand value jumping 184%.

Interbrand

Space X crew forced to use diapers after toilet breaks down

Yes, that’s right, Elon’s $6 Billion project ran into plumbing problems in November when the toilet broke and astronauts were forced to make a hasty trip to Earth using what NASA calls “absorbent undergarments” (wow! very high-tech!) Astronauts admitted feeling flushed and

Huffpost

Feeling hungry?... your printer might be jammed

Imagine getting the perfect turkey dinner from your printer, instead of a burnt one from the oven! Redefine Meat announced they can 3D print 10kg of plant-based meat per hour, and their juicy sausages and steaks are now available in Europe and Israel. That’s a lot of happy turkeys!

Financial Times

Beam me up Jeff! Captain Kirk boldly goes where lots of people have gone before

And FINALLY, William Shatner made it past the final frontier, into space courtesy of Jeff Bezos, and an amazing 50 years after the first episode of Star Trek was shown on TV. Live long and prosper William!